I realized some time ago that there is a very simple way of being sure that you enjoy life every second of your life. Be happy with what you have.
Unfortunately there is this one simple thing that prevents us from doing this every second of our lives. We humans tend to think, and we mostly think about only one thing. Everything we do not have/are not doing at the moment. Drives us slowly crazy.
Well, some of us faster than others, and at the moment I'm on the fast track. I am basically a thinking machine, never living in the moment, but living through every possible failure in the foreseeable future, and berating myself for every mistake I ever made in the past. Not trying to learn anything from it, but making sure I will know when I make it again, ensuring I will have something worse to dwell on at a future time.
At the moment I am getting desperate to find any way of relaxing. It feels as if I am forcing myself to find a way to live in the moment even when there is nothing to do but to think. Trying to out-think myself. The odds must be astronomical.
Odds are, something will give before too long, and I have this vague feeling that I will be able to notice the consequences. Just this vague feeling, mind you, but it is getting more persistent. Maybe I should worry about that as well. Hmm...
