I remember myself as a young man. Full of dreams, full of ideas, ready to make the world a better place. (For me, at least; if other do not have the ability to enjoy what I provide, it is their loss.)
Many years later I look at my life and cringe. I fell into the most basic of traps, and now live for others. My life is not my own, my time is not my own, my thoughts are not my own, my soul is all alone, and wondering where the rest of me went.
I feel like a thief when I want something for myself. I have to ask other people for the privilege of spending my time the way I want to, and then I am in debt to them, owing them for the 'favour'. More and more I find that I must share mine, but I am not allowed to receive from others. I must be happy to give, and this joy must be enough for me.
Scared selfless. I thought I was better than this, intelligent enough to protect myself somehow.
Unfortunately I am a person that think a lot before doing anything at all. Usually when only extreme measures are still viable. How afraid am I really?
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